Seattle Conditions
Hourly Forecast
4pm
84°
5pm
84°
6pm
84°
7pm
82°
8pm
80°
9pm
76°
10pm
72°
11pm
70°
12am
68°
1am
66°
2am
64°
3am
62°
4am
60°
5am
59°
6am
58°
7am
58°
8am
59°
9am
60°
10am
60°
11am
61°
12pm
63°
1pm
65°
2pm
66°
3pm
67°
Today
86°
Tonight
58°
Thursday
69°
Thursday Night
56°
93%
Friday
65°
93%
Friday Night
53°
78%
Saturday
64°
62%
Saturday Night
54°
23%
Sunday
65°
Sunday Night
55°
Monday
66°
Monday Night
55°
Tuesday
66°
Tuesday Night
53°
☼
Sunrise 5:10am · Sunset 9:13pm
☰
Tides: Next: High 8.9 ft at 3:45 PM
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AQI 61 — Moderate
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No quakes M4.5+ in last 24h
Seattle Sports
8th in Western Conference Division
LOSS Wings 112 at Storm 110 Mon, Jun 22
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The Needling
12 days
Polymarket, Kalshi Now Taking Bets on Fights in Ferry Lines
Just in time for World Cup tourists to make things more interesting this weekend, prediction markets Polymarket and Kalshi announced they are now taking bets on fights in Washington ferry lines. “Oh my God, this guy that just cut off a Subaru in a rented Tesla is finished,” said one ferry line fight onlooker placing […]
The Needling
13 days
Seattleites Frantically Search for Plausible Excuse to Cancel Plans with World Cup
Although initially looking forward to it when they put it on their calendars four years ago, today Seattle residents realizing the first World Cup match in their city is almost here started frantically looking for plausible excuses for getting out of it. “So sorry to do this, but is there any way we could reschedule […]
The Needling
15 days
ICE to Help Protect World Cup Host Cities from Making Any Money from International Tourists
U.S. World Cup host cities including Seattle, LA, Boston, New York City and Atlanta were assured today that ICE is already on-hand to protect them all from making any money from international tourists. “Just like at the airports earlier this year, we’re here whenever a city needs help fighting the scourge of toururism,” said ICE […]
Eater Seattle
15 days
The Best Burgers in Seattle
Seattle has a lot of amazing burgers, and even more people who have opinions about what is the “best” burger. Burger love is truly a subjective thing, but this roadmap helps sort through some of the best options in the city The list includes basic burgers done brilliantly, but also offers exceptions for variations that […]
The Needling
21 days
Crazy Socialist Mayor of Seattle Says Cars Not Allowed to Drive on ‘Trains-Only’ Train Tracks
As if Seattle’s crazed socialist mayor hadn’t oppressed the city’s car drivers enough already with new bus-only lanes for her Route 8 stretch limo, today Mayor Katie Wilson reminded everyone that “trains-only” train tracks are for trains only, not cars. “I have to admit I thought this was a self-evident, bipartisan issue, but in light […]
The Needling
23 days
Sun-drunk Seattleite Accidentally Says ‘Hello’ to Stranger
In an embarrassing lapse of character, today a Seattle man who clearly had one too many hours out in the sunshine accidentally said “hello” to a complete stranger. “Out of nowhere, completely unprompted, this guy looks at another guy walking past him and fully said ‘hello’ with a wave and everything—clearly sun-drunk out of his […]
The Needling
26 days
Blue Origin Goes Rogue, Blows Up Another Billionaire’s Launchpad in Seattle
For the second night in a row, the team behind Bezos-founded space rocket company Blue Origin has gone rogue by following up their explosion of one billionaire’s launchpad in Florida with the explosion of another billionaire’s Launchpad in Seattle also known as Mark Zuckerberg’s superyacht. “Wow, I really thought the orcas, Seafair Pirates, or Dave […]
The Needling
27 days
Orcas Getting a Little Sick and Tired of Being Asked to Solve All Your Billionaire Problems
After yet another week of hearing humans ask them to sink billionaire yachts for them, today local orca pods announced they’re getting a little sick and tired of being asked all the time to do humans’ dirty work for them. “It’s always ‘Hey, take Zuck to Davy Jones Locker this, pop Peter Thiel a 100 […]
The Needling
27 days
Alki Beachgoers Stunned as Low Tide Reveals Studio Apartment with Rent Under $800
During the lowest tide of the year this week, Alki beachgoers in were treated to the rare discovery of a studio apartment renting for under $800 in Seattle. “I thought it was just a myth that studio apartments in any part of Seattle were ever cheaper than $1,800 a month,” said tidepooler Lisa Barnes. “I’m […]